The Diary of Francine's Key

So Wednesday was the last day I was in my car…well up and till this afternoon anyway.   The little imp, that’s in my house, she did it again.  As I said before, she’s a stylish diva that loves to accessorize herself in my jewelry and scarves.  Now it’s apparent that the stylish diva imp has a places to go and people to see, because this little…mmmmmmm…. don’t call her out her name, imp took my car key.

Yes I said car key…or you might be a little confused that I’m blaming it on an imp instead of myself.  Look I have no problem with taking responsibility, but this one has IMP all over it.  Needless to say after destroying my house and cleaning up for the past 72 hours there was still no sign of a key.  So I had to suck it up and purchase a new one.

        

   1.  FIND A TOW SERVICE

Learned the hard way about using my car insurance for roadside assistance, they will cancel you if you use it excessively.  None of my family members or exes have it, either. They're either that responsible, and don’t need it; or living on the wild side too. 

Calling grandma to see if I can be added to her +AAA service, and then hear how crazy it is not to have a key chain for my car key, then for her to ask every place I already checked a thousands times, to then hear how Home Depot made her keys to unlock her car door, but it wouldn't work in the ignition.  She finally concluded that she didn’t have AAA, but softened the blow by telling me she lost her spare keys too, and misery loves company.  Needless, I'm a new #AAA member.

       

2.  TOW SERVICE CONVERSATION

"Ma’am I need your key in order to pull your car onto the bed.", says Jose.  "I don’t have a key, sir…is that a problem?"  "Ummmmmmm, kinda, yeah, nooooooo, nope, but I think I can work it out."   "Is it going to tear up my engine or transmission?"  "Oh no, not at all.  There being ice on the ground is assisting the problem."  "I’m just going to go in the house, and watch from the window.  Thank you sir."

 3. CAR FACTS

Speaking to the Dodge rep, "Sooooo question, do you guys even make Dodge Stratus anymore?"  Rep responds, "A what ma’am…a Stratus…ohhhhhhhh nooooooooo we stopped making those in the 2000s."  In my head, so basically my Stratus is similar to a Pinto...well at least it's paid for.

    4.  ENHANCED VOCABULARY

The rep stamps my service ticket with big bold red letters WAITER.  I can’t control my tongue, and in a serious tone ask, “What does WAITER mean?” The sale associate kindly responds “Oh, WAITER…it means you’re waiting.  I respond with “Oh.” Then silence fills the room.  I tilt my head to the side, confused face.  Then I thought to myself, did I really just say that.  

I bust out hysterically in laughter.  Now the entire crew is laughing…we’ll just say with me.  The rep kindly says you’re not the only one who asked that.”  Laughing through it all, I kindly thank him for not being sarcastic and saying it with a smile.

Three hundred and thirty-three dollars later I drove my car back to my house.  I’m still cursing that imp, and all I know is, that imp, bet not miraculously make that key appear.  I might just loose it.

Until Next Time…