Show Me What You Working With...

This past Friday I started my “Pre New Year's Resolution.”  I feel it’s more feasible if I don’t wait until 2013.  For some odd reason Olivia Newton-John's 80s jam Physical played over and over in my head.  It’s a sign to get my behind in the gym…obviously without leotards and head bands.

For the last few months I have indulged in fine foods… wine, cake, wine, cookies, and more wine.  I must say it's been a stressful past 5 months.  Work, family, relationships AAAAAHHHHHH….okay maybe a little dramatic, and the same situations many experience, but I need an excuse for my vices just like the rest.

I possibly over extended the adjectives I'm a thick and curvy chica.  Thick and curvy has now taken a left turn to you better stop while you ahead boo.  First sign, walking…swish swish…pause…shrug shoulders continue walking, walking…swish swish…pause turn around, with a little fear and ready to run just in case, and see there is nobody trying to sneak up on me.  Oh no, that’s just me.  My thighs, sounding like I have on corduroys. 

Second sign, I know what you’re thinking, Francine what could be worse than that?  I’ll tell you what’s worse…my thighs not making sounds at all.  They are literally stuck together, and now I have the awkwardness of walking around like I’m pigeon toed.  Believe me it’s not as sexy if you weren't born that way.  

Let us move upward to the second sign.  I promise you my neck is starting to look like Kimora Lee Simmons (the baby neck).  I literally feel my skin overlapping and feel like I have to peel it apart.  Do you know how uncomfortable it is to extend your neck in fear that you will choke yourself in your sleep?  In my best Kevin Hart voice “This $**** just got real.” 

Solution to the problem is to get like Fergie... "I be up in the gym, just working on my fitness.”  Although this feels good and totally avoids the typical black killers i.e. diabetes, high blood pressure blah blah blah; she didn’t mention the aftermath in the song.  I didn't think it was so bad at first when my thighs screamed “WHY DO YOU HATE US!?”  I realized how bad it was when they decided to give out in the middle of the street, and I almost ended up on the hood of the taxi cab due to a Charley horse situation.  Then again, that could have been another bad karma situation from my bad driving experiences smh.  I guess no pain no gain…right?

As much as I enjoy 2 glasses minimum wine nights, and the 6 dozen of cookies I possibly ate over the Christmas break.  As much as I love my thighs and neck introducing themselves to the scientific term "lipids".  It’s time to stop this buffoonery.

Wait, before you start throwing out your suggestions.  Let’s not jump to conclusions here.  I’m not going to give up wine.  Maybe I can go red…thank God for Colgate Whitening and Cougar Town.  However, for now; the gym is a great way to start.  Note to self...learning the whole routine to Maniac from Flash Dance in my living room won’t hurt either.  Okay maybe a headband is not needed, but definitely leg warmers.

 Til next time stay tuned….