Death Becomes Her

Phillip Seymour Hoffman's funeral was last week.   Unfortunately, it went from a celebration of life to the new Valentino handbag Amy Adams was wearing, or Drake having a Kanye West moment. People probably know him more for the infamous "sharted" comment on, Along Came Polly more than him being a critically acclaimed award winning actor.
 

 Obviously, I'm not a celeb, however; I think pretty highly of myself.  I think everybody should have their special days i.e. birthdays, weddings, funerals all the same.  I will like to think that I'm popular enough where everyone would like to come to my celebration and live it up. Ok yes, you can obviously see this article is still not about Phillip Seymour.  

As I was saying, why wouldn't people want to come to my celebration of life, lots of karaoke, laughing, and smiling at fun memories, and margaritas?  Now don't freak out. I'm not planning on dying anytime soon; but just in case mourners decide to express their emotions, consider these worthy side notes before acting out:  

1.  Please do not interrupt my celebration with sayings like “Lord Jesus why not me?” Oh, you think you Drake...SEEEEECURRRRIIIIITTTTYYY! (SNAP, SNAP)...don't think I won't have a designated security guards showing you the exit.
 

Really Drake? Reallyyyyyyy?

 2.  I love karaoke, but please choose songs wisely 

 3.  Don't be in there talking about how you would've thrown my celebration...key word MYYYYY CELEBRATION!  When it’s yours you can do whatever you want to do. 

4. Don’t even think about kissing me with your “My lip gloss is poppin”...lipstick.  Now I have to meet my maker looking like my forehead is covered in hickies.

5.  For the gentlemen, do not demonstrate your LL Cool Jay impersonation with lip, to finger, to my lip kiss..Ewwww...I don't know where your finger’s been.

6. My casket can only fit one person, so keep on living. 

7. Don't post pics of me, in my casket on Facebook, Instagram, or Pinterest....smh @rayven_not_raven.  She so busy trying get people to spell her name correctly, smh.

  8. Don’t post “selfies” of your OOTD (Outfit of The Day) and then let it be known that you're at my show...I will haunt u

 

Still living though...Until Next Time...