Loosing My Senses

A young lady walks into a DMV ready to renew her licensebefore it expires for her 31^st birthday.  She has a cute little bun in her hair, glossy lips,  appliedbronzer, and accessorized to a “T”.  She's humming whatever song was last played on the radio; with documents in hand. She’s a littleconcerned but not to the point where she stops practicing her smiles in hercompact mirror case.  She smiles then thinks,smiles then thinks again, and then she bows her head to pray, “Dear Lord,please allow me to get my driver’s license today…please let me get my dri…avoice over the intercom interrupts “Ticket Number 201, please approach windownumber 8.”  The young lady continues to finishher prayer “This we ask in Jesus name A-men...Thanks God your awesome too,” andsmiles really big as she looks above” Ding! “Ticket number 201 please approach window 8.”  She gathers her things and approaches thecounter with all smiles, “Hi how you doing?” A woman with big brown frames on her face, a Christmasy cat  sweater, and Texas big blonde hair responds “I’m good; I see youwill like to renew your license.  Would youalso like to update your voter’s registration card and address?”  “Yes ma’am I would,” the young lady replies.  The woman takes all the documents, and pleasantly surprised she has such a chippery person at her station.  She confirms the lady's weight and height, and thelady agrees…even though she may be lying just a tad a bit, but that never hurt anyone.

The woman tips her glasses down to the tip of her nose andlooks sternly at the young lady, “Are you ready for your vision’s test?” Theyoung lady replies with some nervousness, but tries to be as confident aspossible…”Um sure…yeah….yeah I’m ready.” “Great then please place your head against the screen.  Now immediately, the young lady is grossedout because as she looks at her fellow neighbors doing as told, she noticesthat they do not sanitize these 1970 edition gadgets for the next person’suse.  “Ummmm, do you have any Lysol?”,the lady asked.  With annoyance writtenall over her face, the woman replies simply “No.”  The lady recognizes the facial expression, and before causing anymore frustration she gently places her forehead and prepares herself.

“Okay Ma’am, please confirm which sides do you see theblinking lights on.”  The lady respondsquickly and boldly, “Both.” “Good Job Ma’am, now please read line number 5.”  The lady tries to adjust herself, and repeatsthe statement in a form of a question…”you want me to read line number 5?”  “Yes, Ma’am I want you to read line numberfive, please.” “Okay…Okay…line number 5…ummmm.” While constantly adjustingherself she begins to read the letters aloud, “D O V M S.”  The lady glanced upward awaiting affirmationfrom the woman, and realizes she is wrong without the women even speaking. “Ma’amI need you to read line number 5,” the woman replies. The lady is now adjustingher scarf and fidgeting even more “Okay…ummmmm…line number five…where is it?” Thewoman gasps for air and exhales blowing her bang off her face, “Let's try this,read line number 4.”  The girl immediatelystarts to smile again, and regains her confidence, “yeah I can totally readthat line, V O…the woman interrupts.  “That’snot an O Ma’am.”  “Oh, ummmm…D….she looksup and see’s the woman shaking her head…oh my bad C.”  Yes Ma’am that’s correct, next letterplease.  N T Z D W”…the woman interruptsagain…that’s not a W Ma’am.”  Oh,…thelady replies…is it an N?”  “No Ma’am”…”Okayis it an M”…”Ma’am it’s a V.”  “Ohhhhhhhh,the lady now in her duh mode, now I see it…it is a V.”

Before the young lady continues to waste more time the womaninterrupts, Ma’am do you wear contacts?” The young lady helplessly shakes herhead side to side, “No Ma’am…I do not.”  Theyoung lady goes back to putting her face on the gadget and immediately stops when she hears the women's voice…”Wellwhat about glasses?” the woman states. The lady responds with her shoulders in her chin and shamefully shakesher head no.  Again blowing her bangs offher face, the woman states, “Please read line number 5 again.”  The young lady struggles through the entireprocess and get’s 4 out of 15 wrong. The woman now shaking her head with her mouth wide open, “You did notpass your vision’s test.”    The lady nowrealizing how this might be a problem is quietly standing awaiting averdict.  The woman leaves her, at thecounter, and heads to the printer to obtain more documents.  Nervously the young lady breaks the silence, “Does this mean I can’t renew my license?” Hesitantly, the woman responds with a lot of concern.  “Yes, you get your license, butpleassseeeeeee promise you will get your eyes check as soon as possible.”  The young lady nods her head dramatically inagreement and continues to proceed with her John Hancock.

Needless to say I took a great picture, and  scheduled my doctors’ appointment forMonday, January 27^th.  Ialways thought my reason for almost hitting people was because pedestrians arenot looking both ways before crossing the street, or the reason why I’m lost isnot because I can’t see the street signs, but because I have no sense ofdirection.  But Ms. Debra at the DMV has definitelytaught me otherwise. People would think that the City of Chicago is really justsuper money hungry because obviously I’m an easy target for ticket fines, getcaught up on my previous blog Excuse Me Mr. West.   TomorrowI’ll be entering my “Flirty Thirties”, and I’m down to four good senses…it’s been scientifically proven that I have good hearing, ifI don’t hear you it’s because I’m tuning you out on purpose lol…just kidding.

Until next time…stay tuned.